Every year at the end of March, we celebrate Transgender Day of Visibility, a day to recognize the vibrant transgender and gender diverse community, and to recognize that for many of them, the world doesn’t always feel safe enough to be visible.
I spend a good deal of time advocating for transgender and gender diverse youth, talking about how important it is for them to be able to access the life-changing and lifesaving health care they need and deserve. In doing this, I am often talking about ways transgender youth experience stigma and discrimination, and the unfair ways they have become targets of political attacks and public policy, which further negatively impacts their mental health.
I have also had the honor and privilege to be a trusted pediatrician for many transgender and gender diverse youth over the years. While I often hear hard stories of resilience and overcoming obstacles, I always, always, hear stories of joy. First and foremost, transgender and gender diverse youth are kids and teenagers, living their lives and finding joy in the big and small details of their everyday. They are figure skaters and soccer players, dancers and chess players and musicians and yes, they are enthralled with video games. They are kids being kids, and when we listen to them, let them live without interference and support them for who they are, they thrive.
For this Visibly Vibrant Trans Day of Visibility blog, I am honored to share with you stories of trans joy, lessons and wisdom from trans youth. These stories have been submitted voluntarily and anonymously by youth through their connection to Transforming Families, a support community for transgender youth and their families. Special thanks to Hannah Edwards, executive director of Transforming Families, for her partnership in gathering these stories with permission to share them with us. These are our kids; their joy is beautiful, and their wisdom is beyond their years.
In their own words: What brings you joy as a transgender or gender diverse young person?
- Video games and food!
- Talking with my friends and being around animals!
- I like to go camping and play on trampolines. I like to swim and draw and make art. I like musicals and hibachi and shopping with my mom. I like my church group and playing with my siblings and I love all my pets. I like traveling with my dad and making dinner over a bonfire in our yard. I like looking at stars and living my life as me. This brings me joy.
- My friends.
- Fish and fishing.
- Having supporters around me as family and friends. Knowing other LGBTQ people. Sharing what it feels like with other people, LGBTQ or not.
- Playing video games, riding my bike, and friends in my class.
- My family, drawing and outside.
- Family, Nintendo, music, friends.
- I love musical theater, whether it be on stage or in the audience, music, math, my family, my friends, my dog, my bed, squish mallows, Spiderman, and the supportive community that surrounds me. I also love my health care!
In their own words: Thoughts on the importance of transgender visibility
In the spirit of Transgender Day of Visibility, we also asked young people to share with us their thoughts on visibility, why it’s important and if their transgender identity is something they feel safe to share with others right now.
- While I am no longer as visible as I wish I could be, I do think that visibility is so important. I know that if I didn’t have the representation of who I was at a young age, I would’ve never felt brave enough to speak those feelings out loud.
- People think being trans is bad or weird but it’s not. People they know and love are probably trans, and they don’t even know it. Why should trans people have to keep it a secret or we could get hurt or killed or not be able to be in our family? My family said they will keep me safe no matter what and that Minnesota is a place that will fight hard to keep me safe too.
- [People in the government] are trying to make us invisible and erase our history and existence even though we have been here since the dawn of time.
- I don’t want to be visible as a transgender person. I want to be visible as just a person, like every other person. We are all different from each other in some ways. Does that matter? See me as a kid. See me as a boy. See me as a person who wants to help others and love animals and have a good time. I am honest. I have integrity. I am creative. I am kind. I am helpful. I am funny. See me this way.
- It’s important to be visible right now because of our president, but that’s also the reason I’m hesitant.
- Our…president and non-supporters are loud right now. I do not feel any hesitation about being visible.
- To stand up to the people who are doubters, but it’s scary because [the president] is doing some bad stuff right now.
- Because sometimes we get bullied and maybe others can help us if we are visible.
- It’s important to be visible to connect with others.
- Right now, in the face of this dangerous legislation, the bravest thing we can do is be ourselves. My identity cannot be lost because of someone’s useless doubts. I do struggle to feel confident about my trans identity, now more than ever, because I can no longer trust over 50% of voters in the US. Despite everything, I’ve said since November that I won’t go away until they physically make me, me and my trans-ness will continue to exist.
In their own words: What people should know about being a transgender or gender diverse youth
- We are just normal kids; we just want to live out our childhood years. We want to run, and play, and laugh, and cry, and do all the silly things that EVERY SINGLE KID wants to do. I would also like to say that just because we are kids does not make us less aware of the world, the only people humanity knows best as a whole is who we are inside our hearts.
- Next year I’ll start basketball. I don’t know why they would not let me play with the other girls. I hope they do. I wouldn’t play if they made me play with boys because everyone would wonder why there was a girl on the boys’ team, and I would be really embarrassed.
- We are just kids trying to live our best life and not trying to harm anyone by being our best selves.
- You might say I’m not a boy and call me a tomboy. I know tomboys, and I know I’m not a tomboy. I’m a boy. I was born knowing that I’m a boy. That never goes away for me. It doesn’t change with age for me. There are people born with lots of different types of bodies, no matter what gender they are. This is my body, and I’m a boy. If you could accept that I know who I am, and trust me that I truly know myself, I would be happy! I would feel like, this is me, now let me have a normal day.
- [Being transgender or gender expansive] means joy to me.
- LGBTQ kids are just regular kids and shouldn’t feel shame about who they are. I feel strong about who I am.
- Be who you want to be. Don’t let anyone tell you who you can or cannot be.
- That it’s ok to [be transgender] and you can be safe with others that feel the same way.
- I deserve the opportunity to thrive. So often the media seems to focus exclusively on the pain of being trans, but I am not a burden. I am proud to be who I am, though it isn’t always easy, and my life is, mostly, no different than my cisgender peers’ lives.
- [Being transgender is] a superpower.
I want to thank you, the reader, for taking time to hear from transgender and gender diverse youth about what brings them joy, how they feel about showing up as themselves in the world (particularly in today’s political climate) and what they want you to know about being transgender. The young people who shared their stories with us ranged in age from 9 to 16 years old, and I think you’ll agree that their insight and words are far beyond their years.
Sometimes kids just know how to say it best, and as a parent myself, it’s a good reminder to listen to the distilled, simple and yet profound wisdom that kids and young people bring to the table. Take time this week to celebrate the transgender and gender diverse people in your life, of any age, and let’s all work together to continue making our communities and our country a safe place for kids to thrive as their true selves.
Dr. Kade Goepferd, (they/them)
Chief education officer and pediatrician in the Gender Health program
Dr. Kade Goepferd, (they/them), is a pediatrician, chief education officer and founder of the Gender Health program at Children’s Minnesota. Dr. Goepferd is an advocate for advancing equitable health care for all children – including trans and gender-diverse youth. They have been named a Top Doctor by both Minneapolis/St. Paul Magazine and Minnesota Monthly for the last several years and gave their first TED talk, “The Revolutionary Truth about Kids and Gender Identity” at TEDx Minneapolis in 2020.
