Dr. Goepferd: June marks LGBTQ+ Pride Month, which is typically associated with celebrations of queer and transgender identities, companies that lean into “rainbow” marketing and reflections on our community, past and present.
This June our LGBTQ+ community is struggling, particularly the youngest among us. Our lives, rights and identities, especially those of transgender and gender diverse youth, are being attacked. I suspect even the “rainbow” marketing will be far less prominent this year, as many for-profit companies have rolled back their diversity, equity and inclusion initiatives.
So during this Pride Month, it’s more important than ever for allied communities (including parents, friends, teachers, neighbors and health care providers) to help celebrate queer and trans identities, create safe spaces for LGBTQ+ youth and show the vibrant and unique young people in our midst that they belong, they matter and they have a future.
To that end, I have invited my friend and collaborator, Nicki Hangsleben (they/she) to write as a guest blogger this month. Nicki is the executive director and founder of QUEERSPACE collective, a nonprofit organization with a mission to “create space for 2SLGBTQIA+* youth to feel safe and empowered to be their true selves.” Nikki is also a member of our Community Advisory Council. Below, Nicki describes the importance of QUEERSPACE’s work and lessons they have learned while building this community space and mentorship program.
Nicki Hangsleben’s words
When I launched QUEERSPACE collective four years ago, I only knew a handful of trans youth. But I also knew that as a population of young people and an essential part of the 2SLGBTQIA+ community — my community — they were struggling.
I had read the statistics: Trans youth are nearly four times more likely to attempt suicide than their heterosexual peers. Eighty-five percent experience harassment at school. And 40% of unhoused youth identify as 2SLGBTQIA+, many of them trans (source: The Trevor Project). I also learned that out of 5,000 youth mentorship programs across the country, fewer than 10 specifically supported 2SLGBTQIA+ youth. Even fewer focused on trans youth.
As a kid growing up in the 90s with a gay mom and surrounded by queer community, I knew firsthand that having a supportive network of 2SLGBTQIA+ adults could be life changing.
I’ll never forget the time I visited one of the first families referred to QUEERSPACE. A social worker had connected us with a trans boy and his mom, thinking it might be a good fit. When I arrived at their house, he opened the door wearing jeans and a T-shirt — nervous, but excited. I sat with him and his mom, told them about the program, and they both agreed it sounded like a mentor would be extremely helpful as he was navigating being a teenager and also being trans.
A few weeks later, I came back with a mentor. This time, when the boy opened the door, he was wearing a short skirt and a belly shirt. I was caught off guard. This was a kid who had been assigned female at birth and identified as male—and yet, on this day, he was expressing himself in a way that appeared more traditionally feminine. I didn’t get it.
I was a bit confused but jumped right into the match meeting. The mentor and youth met each other, made plans to hang out at a coffee shop and play cards the following week. They also figured out a communication plan for how they would keep mom informed of their planned activities.
About a week later, something clicked. Something resonated deep within me. I realized the boy was just expressing himself in a way that felt right to him at that moment. I also realized something even more important: I didn’t need to fully understand. My job was not to “get” him, I mean who really “gets” teenagers anyway? My job was to show up for him, his family and his new mentor so he could feel more accepted and better supported on his journey. So that he could experience a similar supportive 2SLGBTQIA+ network that I experienced as a kid.
That’s the point, right? At the most human level, we all deserve the freedom to show up as our authentic selves. My role — as the leader of this organization, but more importantly as a compassionate human — is to make space for that. To accept people, youth especially, exactly as they are and however they choose to show up, so they have a little bit more support and a bit more courage to lead a fulfilling and beautiful life.
If you’d like to learn more about QUEERSPACE collective, our free 2SLGBTQIA+ youth mentorship program or the new QUEERSPACE Youth Center we recently opened in Minneapolis, please check out our website. You’ll find program information, resources for caregivers and youth, volunteer opportunities and ways to donate.
Dr. Goepferd: As Nicki so poignantly stated above, what our young people need most right now, and truly, what all of us need, is simply the ability to exist. To exist, to explore, to show up safely and loved as our authentic selves at all times.
What can you do this month to create those safe and authentic spaces for the LGBTQ+ young people in your life? Can you do something as small as wish them a happy Pride Month or check in to see how they are doing? Can you lean in to support an organization like QUEERSPACE? As federal funding gets cut for LGBTQ+ suicide crisis lines across the country, can you learn more about and support an organization like The Trevor Project, whose research Nicki mentions above? Can you learn more about what you don’t know, whether that’s transgender and gender diverse identities, essential health care for trans youth or why HIV prevention is so important to queer and trans communities?
Pride started as a protest, and the best thing YOU can do this Pride Month is show up and be a part of declaring clearly and proudly that LGBTQ+ young people belong and deserve access to the people, books, community, health care and resources that they need to thrive.
*The acronym 2SLGBTQIA+ stands for two-spirit (2S), lesbian (L), gay (G), bisexual (B), transgender (T), queer or questioning (Q), intersex (I), asexual (A), and the “+” acknowledges other identities.
Dr. Kade Goepferd, (they/them)
Chief education officer and pediatrician in the Gender Health program
Dr. Kade Goepferd, (they/them), is a pediatrician, chief education officer and founder of the Gender Health program at Children’s Minnesota. Dr. Goepferd is an advocate for advancing equitable health care for all children – including trans and gender-diverse youth. They have been named a Top Doctor by both Minneapolis/St. Paul Magazine and Minnesota Monthly for the last several years and gave their first TED talk, “The Revolutionary Truth about Kids and Gender Identity” at TEDx Minneapolis in 2020.
